he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
