i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
