On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
