OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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