I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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