Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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