your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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