Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
