Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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