Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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