So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
