The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
