They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
This gyro tastes like lonliness
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize