the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
