take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
