he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
