After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
