Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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