I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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