problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
