We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
