the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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