Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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