Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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