eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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