OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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