Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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