Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
the condom got lost in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize