so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
