if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
