Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
