you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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