i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
