My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
