3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
