doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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