today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
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