dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
