who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
