We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
