Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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