Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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