My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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