what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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