so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
