help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
