therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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