I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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