I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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