Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
