Girls should come with a carfax report
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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