Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
