the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize