Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
