Porn is love you can see.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It's rum buckets o'clock
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
