like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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